DISCLAIMER : This is not a true story but a modern day story that’s loosely based on a real life incident that occurred on the Tirumala Hills, about four hundred years ago, when an old aged depressed Brahmin went up the Tirumala Hills weeping.. What happened later in his life forms the crux of my modern version of that true story..
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“I have created all humans equally but it is you all who are inviting all the pain and sorrow into your lives with your limitless expectations from life; and mindless attachments to materialistic pleasures.. Then how can you ask me, Chandra, why am giving you so much sorrow and pain.
Here, you must also understand that I do not give you anything that you don’t need; and do not do anything that doesn’t have a reason.. I may not assure you a calm voyage in life but I shall certainly ensure a safe landing; I may not be saving you from storms but I shall certainly be saving you in storms.
Those who understand these qualities of mine shall live peacefully and leave peacefully and those who do not shall live in doubt and leave painfully.. Therefore, it is important for you not to look at me but into me.. If you do so, then, there won’t be any pain in your life nor any sorrow in your world”.
Saying so.. Bhagawan Sri Venkateswara paused.. And then looked at Chandra..
Chandra too..
Standing in still silence..
Kept looking at Bhagawan..
Without battling his eye lids..
Without even moving an inch from his place..
And after a few more seconds of quiet thinking..
Chandra,
In a low tone..
Had said,
“Swamy, you say our expectations are giving us pain and our attachments are giving us sorrow. So, let me first ask you a few questions about our attachments which in Your view are unreasonable and silly and are responsible for all the sorrow in our life.. Please forgive me, Swamy, if You think am crossing my limits.
Here are my questions.. While creating me, You haven’t created me alone.. Along with me, in fact, much before me, You have also created my mother and father.. Later, You have strategically built a beautiful nest around us that initially had housed only me and my parents.
After sometime, we were joined by a few more members in the form of my wife and my daughters.. After that, you have kept all of us tied together in a strong bondage called, ‘Love’. Then, how can You expect us to remain unattached to each other, Swamy.
Is it not unfair to even to think so.. If not for family, friends, relatives, love, bondage and a strong relationship between all of us what is this world meant for, Swamy.. Why have You created us at all.. Having created, why all this drama in our lives and why all this confusion in our minds..??
Secondly Swamy, in this whole drama, when what all You are doing is right, how come what we are doing is wrong..?? Am confused..
Are You trying to tell us because You are God whatever You do becomes right and because we are Your creation what all we do becomes wrong..?? If so, then how is this a fair game, Swamy..?? Am not convinced.. Not at all convinced.
However, Swamy, I leave it here to You and now ask a few important questions about our expectations, which according to You are the cause of all the pain in our lives..
Swamy, You have given me good education and thankfully a seat in IIT too.. And that too, as You say, at the expense of many intelligent students who are more intelligent than me.. Blessed Swamy.
However, Swamy, life, as You may know, is not easy in an IIT campus.. At least, that is not as rosy as it appears to the outside world.. An IIT student has to go through many rigorous tests of curriculum that come in the form of assignments, internals, practicals, project works, and internships and what not.
Nowhere during his term in the campus, an IIT student is allowed to relax.. On the contrary, he’s always on the run and spends most of his nights sleepless.. And finally, after passing out from IIT, he and his family expect a job in a big company with a much bigger salary.
Is that expectation wrong, Swamy.. If so, do You want that fellow to remain contented with a clerical job..?? If that is the case, why should he slog so much for almost half a decade in an IIT.. Why should he spend so many sleepless nights, if a clerical job or a less worthy job is all that he would be finally ending up doing in his life.
Swamy, if You don’t give the worthy the job that deserves his worthiness, then, why did You give him that worthiness at all.. That’s exactly my question here Swamy; that’s exactly what I thought; and that’s also exactly what I went about pursuing in my life.. Of course, with immense faith in You and with intense devotion in my life.
I thought, I am doing a job that is worth my IIT education but after sometime when I have realized that am being used like a doormat in my company, I quit my job and quit that company as well.. Then, what is my mistake here, Swamy.. How can I be blamed for that ..??
Still, with immense faith in You, I have tried to build a company of my own and in the process, I agree, I have committed a few errors.. But still am forced by You to face many unbearable problems in life but still with much more faith in You, I tried to remain calm and overcome all those problems.
I Pledged our property; procured a bank loan and cleared all my problems.. Then after, I tried to consolidate my position with business expansion.. Tried to help my own relatives and friends to grow in their life.. Here again, You have started giving me more and more new problems, Swamy.
Still, I never lost faith in You and still I went about believing that You shall certainly come to my rescue someday and I would be happily living ever, thereafter.. But, unfortunately Swamy, that day didn’t come at all.
On the contrary, You, without any mercy, went about giving me more and more problems.. Went about sending me deeper and deeper into an abyss of problems and a whirlpool of troubles and never allowed me to recover at all.. Never allowed me to come back to life..
You broke my confidence.. Broke my faith in You.. What did I do to deserve all this pain, Swamy..?? Is being good to people a sin..?? Is being noble in thoughts a crime..?? Is being soft in behavior a cardinal error..??
Then, why so much pain to me and only to me, Swamy, when people around my world with much lesser morals than I possess and much lesser nobler than am, are tasting instant success in everything they are doing in their life whereas am failing in everything that am doing in my life.. This is sheer injustice to me and only to me, Swamy.
Not any more.. I have now realized that there’s an error in Your creation.. Flaws in Your laws.. And indiscretion in Your judgement which is why the whole of mankind today is going through enormous suffering and You say our expectations and attachments are solely responsible for all the miseries of our life.
Swamy, today am pushed to a point of no return.. Despite my constant prayers to You, am not saved from my problems.. As a result, I have lost my pride, lost my prestige, lost my money, and now going to lose my parents’ properties as well.. If that happens, I shall lose my face too.
Then, what would be my life Swamy.. Whom should I live for.. Won’t it be disgraceful to live like that.. Won’t it be shameful.. Why should I lead such a life.. Why should I still persist with You, a God who doesn’t answer my prayers..??
Therefore, I have decided to quit, Swamy.. Quit this silly stage called world and end this fake drama called life.. But, here again, You have put obstacles on my way and preventing me from quitting peacefully.. Please allow me Swamy.. Please allow me to go.. Pleaaassseee”.
Saying so and gasping for breath, Chandra suddenly started weeping loudly.
All the Gods, God’s men, Goddesses, saints, sages, musicians, Ashta Dikpalakas, the five elements of Nature and the entire army of the Holy Lord, just remained unmoved in their positions, sympathetically looking at Chandra and eagerly waiting for Bhagawan’s reply.
Looking straight at Chandra,
With His face packed with extreme divinity;
His eyes filled with immense mercy;
And His lips locked with an enigmatic smile,
Bhagawan Sri Sri Sri Venakteswara Swamy Varu,
Said,
“Chandra, I really appreciate the way you have expressed your feelings.. You have very analytically pieced them all into well structured sentences and conveniently placed them before me.
You have also cautiously chosen every word before using it.. Very few people in your world have this great talent of telling others, in such a pleasing way, what exactly they have in their minds.. Impressed Chandra.
But Chandra, please tell me.. Why is that you failed to do the same in your life.. Why is that you failed to clearly analyze your strengths and weakness before attempting to do something new in life.
Why is that you failed to perfectly structure all your plans before bringing them into action; and why is that you failed in properly weighing all your options before playing your cards.. Can you please tell me, Chandra, why..??”.
Bhagawan paused here and waited for Chandra’s reply, looking deep into his tear filled eyes.
Chandra could not utter a word..
Could not even open his mouth..
Instead, he just remained unmoved, looking at Bhagawan with extreme blank eyes..
After waiting quietly for a few more seconds for Chandra’s reply,
Bhagawan continued,
“I will tell you Chandra why.. In your professional life, you have always tried to chase many Rabbits at a time but failed to catch even one.
Your so called stress filled ‘almost half a decade life in an IIT’ had, for sure, given you the knowledge to bag a good job in a big company but it didn’t give you the wisdom to survive smartly there, which was why you were always used like a doormat in your company.
Secondly, you didn’t realize that it is important not to speak unnecessarily but it is more important to speak when it matters the most.. When it is necessary.. And you failed to do that either.
Instead, you went about nodding your head to everything that your bosses have asked you to do, just like a clerk does in a government office.
Now am asking you Chandra.. If nodding head like a clerk in a government office is all that you wanted to do in your life then why did you slog so much for half a decade in an IIT campus..??
I have certainly gotten you the job that deserves your worthiness, Chandra, but did you perform it to your true worthiness..?? Ask yourself and you will know you didn’t.. Because you thought having struggled so hard in IIT, a lucrative job is meant for your enjoyment, for your pleasures and for your relaxation and for nothing else.
With such a lackadaisical approach to your job, you have fallen prey to a notorious girl’s advancements in your company.. In the name of love, she had started luring you towards vices.
You too, drowned in a tranquility of fake love, have started spending your hard earned money on her, giving her expensive gifts.. What happened.. You on your own had given an opportunity to your bosses to find faults with you.
At least at this point, did you realize that it is more important to express your vital feelings to people who are bothering you the most just in the same way you have expressed them before me, now.. You didn’t.. Instead, you have hidden them all in your heart and just remained quiet until it reached a boiling point.
Here again, you didn’t realize that it is more important to show your anger to the ones who were unjust to you and at places where it matters to you the most.. Instead, you just maintained an unnecessary restraint wherein you are supposed to show your dissent to your bosses.
If you had done all that in your company, leaving the results to me, just as perfectly as you have done before me now, you may have displeased a couple of your bosses, for sure, but you would have certainly pleased your company management the most.. And, Chandra, that would have taken you to newer heights too.
There again you failed which was your mistake, not mine.. Instead of doing all that you are supposed to do, you have just decided to quit the company as easily as you have now decided to quit this world, which in your view is just a silly stage.
Chandra, you say you have studied in an IIT.. Then don’t you know the simple elementary school formula that “losers quit but winners plan”.. Secondly, you also say you have immense faith in me.. I too would say the same now.
You just had faith in me which means you also had doubt in me.. Instead, if only you had belief in me you would have remained assured in life, would have remained undeterred by the problems that it gave you and would have remained unruffled by the fire that it engulfed around you.
Here, at this point, you failed to realize that without keeping it’s solution ready I shall never give any problem to my children and without keeping it’s answer ready I shall never give them any question.
You also, unfortunately, failed to realize that, while I always live in the heart of a devotee I always stand in front of an atheist.. Because all are my children, Chandra.. No one is a little less or no one a little more for me.. I am equally responsible to all”.
Exactly, at this point,
Chandra asked Bhagawan, “Swamy, then why to offer so many prayers to you; why to recite so many manthras and sthothras to please You; and why to perform so many elaborate rituals like yagnas and homas to appease You when both a devotee and atheist are treated equally by you”.
Here, Bhagawan smiled a bit loudly and said, “when did I ask you to perform so many rituals or recite so many sthothras to please me, Chandra.. I have never said that.. In fact, I want you all to forget me and focus entirely on your job for which you have been sent on to this Earth and allow me to do my job in my Abode.
I really feel hurt when devotees visit my Tirumala Temple and place before me their list of desires.. Why are they doing all that.. Why are they reminding me my duties.. Don’t I know my job.. Don’t I know what to give my children and when to give them.. Then where’s the need to remind me my responsibilities.. That is where I feel really hurt,Chandra.
More importantly, I feel furthermore hurt when devotees perform, ‘Upavasa’ to please me.. Which father or mother in this world would be happy if their child is starving to please them.. Why don’t you all understand this simple common sense point, Chandra..
Who started this method of Upavasa and why did they start this at all.. Deho devalayo proktho jeevo devas sanatanaha .. Sareera gnana nirmalyam soham bhaavena poojayeth
Your body is your own Temple, Chandra.. Keep it clean, healthy and fit feeding it properly and on time.. Doing anything contrary to that not only disturbs your body mechanism but would also displease me the most.
Funnily, many devotees offer me many gifts to please me.. Why do you all do that.. Don’t you know that the smile on your face is the best prayer you would be offering to me and the happiness in your heart is the best gift you would ever be giving me.
Will your parents be happy if you give them costly gifts when you are not personally happy in your life.. Then how will I, both your Cosmic Father and Mother rolled into one, be happy with your offerings or gifts.
How come you all don’t realize this simple point of human logic, Chandra.. All such deeds and offerings hurt me the most.. But still you are all my children Chandra, therefore, I just keep my feelings to Myself.
Your education in an IIT taught you technology but it didn’t teach you the technique to make life more beautiful and meaningful.. Didn’t teach you the lessons of life management ..
Didn’t teach you the lessons of crisis management.. Didn’t teach you the lessons of disaster management.. I teach them all in life.. You know how..??
Through challenging situations, I teach you how to question.. Through grave problems, I teach you how to learn new lessons of life.. Through ill health, I teach you how to protect yourself from diseases.
Through accidents, I teach you how to be cautious in life.. Through monetary losses, I teach you how to be cautious in dealing with money matters.. Through deaths around you, I teach you how to value your life..
Through broken relationships, I teach you how to be cordial in relationships.. Through disappointments, I teach you how to muster courage.. Through pain, I teach how to be contented with life.. And through sorrow, I teach you how to philosophically accept the vagaries of life and people around you.
You failed to understand these lessons am teaching you for your well being but you clearly could understand everything that’s rigorously taught to you in IIT.. You slogged so much in IIT just to know you know nothing about life.
Therefore, you passed out from IIT with flying colors but failed in my lessons and quitting this world today with miserable failures.. Were is the mistake Chandra.. Is that in my teaching or in your understanding of my teaching..??
All though your conversation you have been saying that you are a very great devotee.. Agree, but you failed to realize that a devotee like you, with mere spiritual knowledge, performs many rituals and sees me only in the deities of Temples, whereas, a person with spiritual enlightenment sees me everywhere, in everyone, in everything and never gives any importance to rituals.
Therefore, you have always vacillated between to be or not be and to do or not to do.. Yes, Chandra, I also agree you were good but you were never wise.. You were noble but you were never generous.. Therefore, you encountered so many problems in life.. So.. ”
Bhagawan was about to say something else here but a fully disturbed Chandra, at this point of time, had interrupted Him and asked Him, with a broken voice,
“Swamy, O’ jagannataka sutradhaari.. You have not given us free will.. You have also made everything in our life, predetermined.. When You are the Doer and You are the Redeemer and when everything in our life is predestined then how I am responsible for either the good karma or bad karma that I have performed in my life, Swamy”.
Here, smiling gently,
At the innocence of Chandra, just like an ever loving father smiles at his innocent child’s questioning,
The merciful Bhagawan said,……
Please Click Here to read Part Six of this story.
“Samastham Govindaarpanam”
Love
Narrenaditya Komaragiri
narrenaditya@tirumalesa.com
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